Sadistic Parasite is the only term I can come up with to describe a particular type of person that I’ve had my share of run-ins with, enough encounters to contribute to honing my awareness to an almost hyper-vigilant state. This type of personality is born to leach off others whether it be their personal assets, their time, or in the workplace, their daily efforts; but “leach” is way too mild of a comparison. A leach is a creature which is only trying to survive; it couldn’t care less if it causes any response in its host at all so long as it can hang on and suck its share of blood. The Sadistic Parasite gives a damn about your emotional state, and the worst yours is, the happier he/she is! If she borrows your car, again, then finds a way to screw up your romantic life all in the same day, it’s good times.
The SP has radar for the vulnerable, got a bit of depression? Insecurity? They hone in like a predator drone on Al Quaida #2. My first really bad entanglements with SPs was back in college. I was a wreck with seemingly untreatable depression and pulling myself up by the bootstraps and hanging on, trying to do the deal and not be a failure. I’m sure they saw me coming. I became friends with another student and we seemed to hit it off, she and I liked the same books, music, movies, terrific here was a friend and I let her in on the secret crush I had on this guy she knew. Before I knew it we all three were hanging out, me more than a little obsessed with the dude. I had a car and they liked to run around a lot in it. We partied a lot, I got to take them places, even out of town. It would be fun if my insides hadn’t been telling me something wasn’t right. They took more and more of my time and I got more and more miserable, no success with the guy, and these folks always wanted me to hang out with them but I was often the butt of jokes, seems I couldn’t do anything to please these people really, I got to thinking I wasn’t even worthy of friendship, so little respect I seemed to deserve. Then they roommate of the guy, who liked riding around but didn’t seem much interested in me, cornered me and said I needed to know the truth. He said that my friend and my wanna-be boyfriend didn’t think much of me at all, that they laughed about me all the time, that they were using me for my car. Of course I was crushed, I literally fell apart; but my gut had known the truth for a long time, I had just faded out thinking I couldn’t do any better and if only I could learn how to project the right image I could have friendship and love. I know now that wasn’t true.
This is hardly my only encounter with this sort of person. I have a way of attracting them, since they seek prey that is unlikely to retaliate and unfortunately that’s my vibe. Another example was a boss I had. She loved giving assignments without telling you exactly how she wanted it done then having you fail. She also enjoyed having you work on a presentation for days then say it looked good but she had decided to have it outsourced. You could never get anything right, everything required changes. She very much enjoyed setting you up to say things she could use against you with others too. She set me so painfully one time I’ll never forget it. I was hunting for another job since our department appeared to be in for serious cuts and had applied with someone we both knew well in another area. Once I found out I didn’t even get called for an interview for the job she made a point of starting a conversation praising the person our friend had hired for the position in her department. I lost my composure for a minute over not even getting called and I will never forget the grin on her face, she had me, I’d walked right into the Black Widow’s web. She was feeding off my guts spilled all over the office floor. I absolutely have no doubt she made a point of telling our friend my reaction to the news, and I’m sure she tasted every word like honey when she did.
In my experience a Sadistic Parasite is usually someone with a terrific front that is specifically designed to make them look like a model human being. They DEFINITELY are involved in Church, they give off an air of knowledge and/or culture, and they impress lots of people in a superficial way. What I also see, looking back, is a two dimensionality, as if there’s just not much inside. It’s almost like they are a walking quantum particle that only really exists when being observed. The bottom line is that they are utterly fake, and the ecstatic smile of conquer might be the extent of their emotional depth.
I’m not a trusting type these days and I’m not a bit ashamed of that. Not even my old boss managed to suck the life out of my like she wanted. I was fortunate and only gave her what she wanted once. I had my guard up with her. The pair from college left me with knowledge I didn’t ask for but something I’ll use for the rest of my life. When people are that plastic and feed off the pain and assets of others, they are something to be reckoned with. It’s easy to spot most predators but some wear better camouflage and their attacks are more personal. I’ve often wondered if these folks were new souls on the planet, or people that weren’t fully connected with their higher selves? Do they lack something internally that prompts them to create misery so they can replenish their lives for a time? I don’t know the answers to these questions that I have, but it’s something I mull over now and then. Something is missing in SPs and they go seeking it from others. I feel safer when I can spot them then let them be. Emotional safety, the part that plays in my continued time on this planet is probably something I’ll expound on for a while here.
Peace (and vigilance)
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